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  1. #1
    Senior Member Holy Smokes's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    in Dixie Home of the Brave and land of the Free

    Default Your gonna love this one

    Not knowing where to put this
    so here it is
    the truth i know not
    Roping A Deer (Names have been removed to protect the UNEDUCATED!)

    Actual letter from someone who farms and writes well!

    I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

    The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

    I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

    The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

    After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

    I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

    I took a step towards took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

    The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

    That deer EXPLODED.

    The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

    A deer--no chance.

    That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

    The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

    A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

    I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

    Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

    I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

    Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

    Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

    The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

    I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it.

    While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

    Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

    This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

    The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

    Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

    I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

    So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.

    Switchback xt BYC LOOP- SHOOT NOW56# 385gr 2312 Eclipse 100gr Muzzy 256fps SEPTER RANGER STRINGS, 4th axis,335 jammers @ 61# =285 fps

  2. #2
    Senior Member duckslayer870's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    W. Kentucky


    Priceless LMAO
    GO TEAM 12

  3. #3
    bambi killer killbambidead's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Red bud il


    wow i hope this isnt real

  4. #4
    Senior Member beenfarr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Belleville, MI


    That made my day!

    Sling Braid Custom Bow Slings!!!

    FBSA Member

  5. #5


    Wow that is quite the story. You should have taken a video of it you would probly be youtube famous
    Drenalin LD *Mathews*

  6. #6
    RIP Ronhop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Rock Island, IL


    Quote Originally Posted by killbambidead View Post
    wow i hope this isnt real
    The scary part is that it probably is true....
    You have to love the continuing saga of the real life "Idiots on Parade" soap opera.

    Also known as "I hate it when I keep poking myself in the eye with a stick". "Man, I wish it was sharp"...

    Proud member of the F.B.S.A.

    Official turkey baster and member of the FBSA R-100 eating team....

  7. #7
    Big Lew

    Default roping a deer

    Quite a story, seems plausible, I have seen the damage female moose can do with their front feet. They can, and will kill any dog, wolf, or even black bears that are stupid enough not to get out of the way.
    I personally know of two gillnet river fishermen on the fraser river in British Columbia that saw a black bear on a log boom and got the bright idea that they would cruise past it and throw a rope around it's neck. The rope was tied to the bow. Never thought ahead to wonder what they were going to do with it after the fact. Well, they roped it, it jumped into the river, swam straight to the boat, climbed onto the boat, chased them into the deck house, slashed great gouges out of the door jam, and broke a window trying to get at them. The only thing that saved them from getting mauled badly was, while the bear was at the window, one of them ran back out the door and slashed the rope free. The bear took off and swam ashore. Sadly, the next day, a farmer caught it in his yard and shot it with a still had the rope around it's neck. The boathouse had gashes in it for years as a reminder of their stupidity.

  8. #8
    Member steve bear's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007


    oh damn ,best laugh i've had in weeks . laughed so hard i cryed.......

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