Thread: Speed beef time of year!!!
08-03-2012, 09:52 AM #1
Speed beef time of year!!!
A farmer that lives down the way called one of Michigan's finest DNR officer and complained about all the speed beef he saw eating his beans. Mr. DNR took a drive out and said 'Wow you got alot of Critter chewing on your beans, here let me bestow some of the coveted crop damage permits upon you".
My good buddy mr. Farmer walks into his shop where he finds me in my normal position by his fridge drinking one of his cold beers and said to me "Gator, your a pretty good guy, you always help me find the bottom of each box of beer I buy, you always offer your advise and opinion even when I don't ask. You even hold the light while I work on stuff. Let me pay you back for all your hard work with a coveted crop damage permit"
Here it is boys...........stare and be in aahhh.
08-03-2012, 10:04 AM #2
Now the boys at remington heard of my good news and they decided to team up with NASA and create the perfect speed beef round.
Here's what they came up with............it's a special neck seeking 45-70 gov. round . It is guaranteed to stop a speed beef in it's tracks if placed in the neck region. The neck locator in the tip of this round is a hit or miss round, if it hits there is no tracking involved, one moment the speed beef is eating a mouth full of beans and the next bite she gets a bite of sweet honey clover in God's field. She doesn't know how she got there and the clover is soo good she doesn't care. If it's a miss, she says damn that was close and run into the woods. either way no tracking involved.
Without futher BS here it is............Job well done, boys.
08-03-2012, 10:13 AM #3
Well after hearing what NASA and Remington had put together for a round, the guys at Ruger didn't want to be outdone so they put there heads together and came up with a special speed beef dispatching gun.
Now this here dispatching unit is so far advance they will not let me release any close up pictures just for the plain fact if the Russians get ahold of this design, why...it just might change the history of the world. So I can't get you a close pic but you can see this unit in the back ground if you look close enough.
Anyway, This here dispatching unit is based off the ruger no. 1 design and fitted with a under rate swift scope. It's simple one shot design is a perfect fit to the neck seeking round.
08-03-2012, 10:23 AM #4
Now one more thing before I show the end results of this story,
You will notice in the following pics the special design of the camo clothes we"re hunting in. This patent applied for design was a brain storm of yours truly, and after many years of research I believe I have a winner.
It is call my "Don't move stupid" line of clothes. It is based off the theory that speed beef are color blind but see movement really well so if you don't move there is a good chance they won't see you.
Now the guys at mossy oak and the dury bros. have been sending spies to my shop trying to steal my designs because if my design ever gets out it will blow the doors off of what camo clothing really does, which is hiding the fact that they came up with a great way to take money out of your pocket and put it in there's.
Last edited by Gator eye; 08-03-2012 at 10:33 AM.
08-03-2012, 10:31 AM #5
In my super special camo clothes I put the sneek on this doe along the edge of a bean field, got up to about 35 yards and the rest is history. One down 3 more to go.
Put this story all together and here is what you get.
Life is good
08-03-2012, 10:34 AM #6
Hey boys, guess what I'm havin for dinner tonight
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