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Thread: Christmas poem

  1. #1
    Aussie Member Westy's Avatar
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    Default A 3D Shoots Christmas Poem

    Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a Mega Doe as carpshooter had shot them all.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
    In hopes that St Smokes soon would be there.

    The old Ladies were nestled all snug in their beds,
    While visions of PBR'S danced in their heads.
    And MiL in her ‘Thong, and Carpy in the raw,
    Had just Shagged there brains out all night long when C.s Pipes up and says for a long mornings Bombing Run would be good!!!.

    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
    I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
    Away to the window I flew with a flash,
    Tore open my jocks and threw up out my ass.

    The moon
    I through was huge to say the least on the new-fallen snow
    Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear but THE CARPSHOOTER had fallen out of his Stand,
    And Landed on L.C withered hand.

    With a little old Southern driver, so lively and quick who hated the colour NIGER!!!!,
    I knew in a moment it must be St Smokes.
    More rapid than eagles his Curses, they came,
    And he whistled, and shouted, and called me a swear name!

    "Now Carpshooter! now, Westy! now, Longcuts36 and Gator!
    On, jwelectric! On, Hutch! on Duanelane and Bunnyman!
    To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
    Now dash away! Dash away! Dash you all!"

    As dry leaves that he had Smoked before the wild hurricane fly,
    When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
    So up to the house-top the curses they flew,
    With the sleigh full of Bibles, and St Smokes too.

    And then, he had a tinkle, Which I heard on the roof
    The prancing and pawing of each little dead hoof.
    As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
    Down the chimney St Smokes like a armed robber came with a bound.

    He was dressed all in CAMO, from his head to his foot,
    And his clothes were all tarnished with POT ashes and soot.
    A bundle of Arrows he had flung on his back,
    And he looked like a Pot Seller, just opening his pack.

    His eyes-how they were Red! his dimples how merry!
    His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a a guy who had drunk to much Sherry!
    His droll from his little mouth was drawn up like a side show,
    And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

    The stump of a crack pipe he held tight in his teeth,
    And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath RIP.
    He had a broad face and a little round belly,
    That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

    He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
    And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
    A wink of his eye and a twist Tounges and a jerk of his head,
    Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

    He spoke not a word more like a threat, but went straight to his work,
    And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk called turtleman.
    And laying his finger aside of his nose he picked out the biggest Boogie from his nose,
    And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

    He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
    And away they all flew like a Bat out of hell.
    But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
    "Happy Christmas to all, and to the Bloody Aussie You'll get yours alright!"
    It might not be tomorrow or tonight but Westy One day you'll get whats comming to you alright!!!!!!

    The end
    Last edited by Westy; 12-24-2012 at 06:43 AM.
    I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.


  2. #2
    Aussie Member Westy's Avatar
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    Default A Quick shout out to all you Guys

    I had a knock on the door today and it was the man in the little brown Van bringing West-T a Christmas Gift from afar it was a gift from the Best Bloke here on 3D Shoots The Gatoreye,the reason i say the best bloke is he sent me Carpshooters arrows and Carppy there awesome MATE !!!! Both Carpshooter and Gator have taught me the joy of giving at Christmas and during the year!!!! Hope that package x 2 has arrived in Michigan??? My wife forgot to put your Steveo Irwin in and so it's comming on it's own Mate!!!!!Anyway back to the Gatoreye he rocks and thanks to him I'm going to dedicate my Aussie MBO Championship to him Next year!!!!The problem is i have to win it yet but with gear like this I reckon I'm in with a chance Thanks Again Mate keep a eye on the mail box should be there anyday now!!!In finishing I'd like to say Gatoreye is a Bloody little Ripper of a Bloke and his Bloods worth Bottling!!Thanks Mate

    Cheers Your Mate Always Westy
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    Last edited by Westy; 12-24-2012 at 06:57 AM.
    I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.


  3. #3
    Aussie Member Westy's Avatar
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    Default Funny Thing

    Did anyone else notice that Smokes didn't even send me a Christmas Card?????-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    P:S Smokes don't take me to serious as I'm a Southern Boy just like you??? Ilove a good time and good Friends like you Merry Christmas Smokes And God Bless
    I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.


  4. #4
    Guest Carpshooter's Avatar
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    Talking Here's what I think !

    It's your story Westy !

    Have a " Merry Christmas " !



  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carpshooter View Post
    It's your story Westy !

    Have a " Merry Christmas " !


    But a good one so far wouldn't you say? Poor fellow has been standing to close to the frig lately.
    NEC Instructor @ RCC

  6. #6
    Aussie Member Westy's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Carpshooter View Post
    It's your story Westy !

    Have a " Merry Christmas " !



    you at home?????
    I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.


  7. #7
    Guest Carpshooter's Avatar
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    Talking A little known fact !

    Quote Originally Posted by Westy View Post
    you at home?????
    I'm home mate , so fire up the Studabaker , have them drop the draw bridge and head it up my way , mate !

  8. #8
    Aussie Member Westy's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Carpshooter View Post
    I'm home mate , so fire up the Studabaker , have them drop the draw bridge and head it up my way , mate !
    Message Recived loud and Clear!!!!!!Look out for a fat guy in a red Pick-up Truck or as I say UTE Mate,it's my Bloody Ute!!!!!
    I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.


  9. #9
    Guest Carpshooter's Avatar
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    Talking A little known fact !

    Quote Originally Posted by Westy View Post
    Message Recived loud and Clear!!!!!!Look out for a fat guy in a red Pick-up Truck or as I say UTE Mate,it's my Bloody Ute!!!!!
    It's still your story , mate !

  10. #10
    Senior Member duanelane's Avatar
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    Default

    Happy holidays!!!


    You got carpshooter arrows now you nead his bow to win!!....

  11. #11
    Aussie Member Westy's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by duanelane View Post
    Happy holidays!!!


    You got carpshooter arrows now you nead his bow to win!!....
    Thats sweet Bugger all Mate????LOL merry christmas Mate!!!!! Had steak and prawns out on the B.B.Q today for lunch and a couple of my mates from the club are comming over tonight should be fun!!Can't wait to get i the pool and cool off!!!!!
    I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.


  12. #12
    Guest Carpshooter's Avatar
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    Talking Here's what I think !

    Have a few cold adult beverages , mate !


  13. #13
    Guest Gator eye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Westy View Post
    Did anyone else notice that Smokes didn't even send me a Christmas Card?????-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    P:S Smokes don't take me to serious as I'm a Southern Boy just like you??? Ilove a good time and good Friends like you Merry Christmas Smokes And God Bless
    I got my card and Christmas ham from smokes. LC said he got his too.

    Maybe he's mad at you West-T

  14. #14
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    Default

    I got me a new dog, thanks Smokes
    NEC Instructor @ RCC

  15. #15
    Aussie Member Westy's Avatar
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    Default

    I got a phone bill from some guy in Iowa???? Man is he hard to understand on the Phone?????----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tried some guy in michigan but he didn't want to pick up his phone must have known it was the Aussie !!!!!!
    I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.


  16. #16
    Guest Carpshooter's Avatar
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    Talking A little known fact !

    Quote Originally Posted by Westy View Post
    I got a phone bill from some guy in Iowa???? Man is he hard to understand on the Phone?????-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tried some guy in michigan but he didn't want to pick up his phone must have known it was the Aussie !!!!!!
    I tried my best to sound " Aussie " ! .........................................................................................................

  17. #17
    Aussie Member Westy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carpshooter View Post
    I tried my best to sound " Aussie " ! .........................................................................................................
    Keep up the good work Mate!!!!!!Your a Bloody bonza beauty bloke old mate!!!!!!=============================================================================
    I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.


  18. #18
    Guest Carpshooter's Avatar
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    Talking Here's what I think !

    Westy on the sauce again !


  19. #19
    Aussie Member Westy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carpshooter View Post
    Westy on the sauce again !

    Blood Oath Mate ,you little Ripper C.s can't wait for a great big Red Bogan to poke his head up and go Bye-Bye
    I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.


  20. #20
    Guest Carpshooter's Avatar
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    Talking Here's what I think !

    Quote Originally Posted by Westy View Post
    Blood Oath Mate ,you little Ripper C.s can't wait for a great big Red Bogan to poke his head up and go Bye-Bye
    This is got to be another coded message !


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