Thread: good laugh
01-30-2007, 09:39 PM #1
you can move this is if you like....
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that Mr. go with her
to Wal-Mart. He quickly grows bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.
Here's a copy of a letter recently sent to her by the store:
Dear Mrs. Fenton:
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate his behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We
have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
Disturbances caused by Mr. Bill Fenton while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched what happened.
5. Aug. 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Sept. 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Sept. 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'd bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. Sept. 23: When a clerk asks if he needs help, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Oct. 4: Looked right into the security camera, used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk where to find the antidepressants.
11. Dec. 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. Dec. 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Dec. 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. Dec. 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
And last, but not least . . .
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Help me! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Last edited by BUNNYMAN; 01-30-2007 at 09:44 PM.I cut things up and split them down!
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