Thread: Thoughts to Ponder.......
03-13-2007, 12:11 PM #1
Thoughts to Ponder.......
1.Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
3.OK..... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and theTampaBay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make
the Tennessee Titans?
4.If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that
one enjoys it?
5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes
8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale
bread to begin with?
10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a
person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, > models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP ?
14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole
lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .they're cramming for
their final exam.
17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for the m while they
deliver the mail?
19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly
are the others here for?
20. You never really learn to swear un til you learn to drive.
21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't
22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
24. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the
two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells
"THEIRS"?Pathfinder Arrow Wraps
03-13-2007, 12:23 PM #2I cut things up and split them down!
03-13-2007, 03:51 PM #3
03-13-2007, 07:34 PM #4
I think someone has way too much free time on their hands.
03-13-2007, 07:42 PM #5
I think some of us need to learn how to post in the off topic and wait for chris to approve them......I cut things up and split them down!
03-13-2007, 07:54 PM #6
03-13-2007, 08:28 PM #7
03-13-2007, 08:28 PM #8
heres one for smokes.....
60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Upstate New York plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Potsdam sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Saranac Lake gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal
underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Lake Placid have the last cookout before it gets cold.
People in Miami all die.
People in Upstate Pulaski close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Malone let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Folks in Potsdam get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Upstate New York start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Upstate New York public schools will open 2 hours late.I cut things up and split them down!
03-13-2007, 08:38 PM #9
ive heard that same one, only with iowa in NY's place....probably true in both places...
get this, today the high was 78 degrees....one week ago we had a huge blizzard with 12+ inches of snow...gotta love good ol' midwest weather...Nick
2005 Hoyt Vtec 28/70
03-13-2007, 08:40 PM #10
Just want to go on record and say, I am not a true Californian! I claim Idaho or Oregon. (I was raised in Oregon)
03-13-2007, 08:50 PM #11
03-13-2007, 08:51 PM #12
03-13-2007, 08:54 PM #13
I haven't figured it out either BUT, probly could if I tried
03-13-2007, 08:55 PM #14
03-13-2007, 08:57 PM #15
03-13-2007, 09:00 PM #16
03-13-2007, 09:01 PM #17
03-13-2007, 09:02 PM #18
03-13-2007, 09:07 PM #19
03-13-2007, 09:10 PM #20
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