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  1. #1
    I pray for you! BUNNYMAN's Avatar
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    Apr 2005
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    the Hutch
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    Default dont argue with the truth.....

    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.





    The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.





    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.





    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.





    The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.





    The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'





    The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him '.





    A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk

    around to see each child's work.





    As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.





    The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'





    The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'





    Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'





    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.





    After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'





    Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'





    One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.





    She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some

    of your hairs white, Mom?'





    Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'





    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'





    The children had all been

    photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.





    'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'





    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead..'





    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'





    'Yes,' the class said.





    'Then why is it that while I am standing up right in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'





    A little fellow shouted,





    'Cause your feet ain't empty.'





    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:





    'Take only ONE. God is

    watching.'





    Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.





    A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
    I cut things up and split them down!

  2. #2
    Bisquit....... BowhuntnHoosier's Avatar
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    Default

    Don't kids say the darndest things. Thanks for the lesson.


    "HONDA"

  3. #3
    Senior Member Holy Smokes's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    in Dixie Home of the Brave and land of the Free
    Posts
    6,713

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BOWMAN View Post
    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.





    The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.





    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.





    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.





    The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.





    The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'





    The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him '.





    A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk

    around to see each child's work.





    As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.





    The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'





    The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'





    Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'





    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.





    After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'





    Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'





    One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.





    She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some

    of your hairs white, Mom?'





    Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'





    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'





    The children had all been

    photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.





    'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'





    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead..'





    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'





    'Yes,' the class said.





    'Then why is it that while I am standing up right in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'





    A little fellow shouted,





    'Cause your feet ain't empty.'





    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:





    'Take only ONE. God is

    watching.'





    Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.





    A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

    Now those are some of tha best jokes I have heard here.

    I especially like tha one about tha cookies.



    Switchback xt BYC LOOP- SHOOT NOW56# 385gr 2312 Eclipse 100gr Muzzy 256fps SEPTER RANGER STRINGS, 4th axis,335 jammers @ 61# =285 fps

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