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Old 04-18-2007, 07:16 PM   #1
Southernfryedyankee
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Default Apollo, Ill see your beer joke and raise you 1

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, the man says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him, “Is that all you're going to do tonight?
Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore…”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started…”
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Old 04-18-2007, 07:31 PM   #2
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I like it alot but i got one more

A man comes home from the bar really really drunk. He smells bad and has puke all over himself. His wife loses it and yells at him for 2 hours straight. she says that he can't go out and get drunk any more because everytime he does he throws up on himself and she can't stand to clean it anymore. Well needless to say the next night his buddy wants him to go drinking but the guy tells him that he can't and explains why. His buddy tells him that he has a fool-proof plan that will work...and that is if he throws up on himself that he should put a $20 bill in his shirt pocket and tell him some other guy threw up on him and gave him the money for dry-cleaning..well he finially decides to go out and gets more drunk than he has ever been in his life. When he goes home he is really really disgusting and has barf all over him. He walks in the door and his wife is standing there waiting for him with the eviliset look on her face, she walks up to him and starts asking him why he went out drinking and that she said that she didn't want to clean his shirts anymore...as she is yelling she notices the money in his pocket and takes it out asking what it is for..he tells her that some ohter guy threw up on him and gave him the $20 for it..she looks at the money and askes why there is two $20 and the husband quickly replys that the other guy had S**T in his pants too.
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Old 04-18-2007, 07:34 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apollo View Post
I like it alot but i got one more

A man comes home from the bar really really drunk. He smells bad and has puke all over himself. His wife loses it and yells at him for 2 hours straight. she says that he can't go out and get drunk any more because everytime he does he throws up on himself and she can't stand to clean it anymore. Well needless to say the next night his buddy wants him to go drinking but the guy tells him that he can't and explains why. His buddy tells him that he has a fool-proof plan that will work...and that is if he throws up on himself that he should put a $20 bill in his shirt pocket and tell him some other guy threw up on him and gave him the money for dry-cleaning..well he finially decides to go out and gets more drunk than he has ever been in his life. When he goes home he is really really disgusting and has barf all over him. He walks in the door and his wife is standing there waiting for him with the eviliset look on her face, she walks up to him and starts asking him why he went out drinking and that she said that she didn't want to clean his shirts anymore...as she is yelling she notices the money in his pocket and takes it out asking what it is for..he tells her that some ohter guy threw up on him and gave him the $20 for it..she looks at the money and askes why there is two $20 and the husband quickly replys that the other guy had S**T in his pants too.
THATS FUNNY, just be careful not to offend anyone I change the words to my jokes around so if some little kid looks at it hell think the better of the 2 words. Ya feel me
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