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Old 08-30-2008, 06:10 PM   #1
Wheely
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Default Underwear Dust

Underwear dust

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied ...'It's not talcum powder......It's 'Miracle Grow'
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Old 08-30-2008, 06:48 PM   #2
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Introduce a kid to the outdoors, the American way depends on it

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Old 08-30-2008, 07:50 PM   #3
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Does that really work????....
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Old 08-30-2008, 07:51 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wheely View Post
Underwear dust
..It's 'Miracle Grow'

A few months before I got home form Iraq my wife wife asks if I'd like her to have breast implants.

I told her "I love you just the way you are, I don;t care about all that."

"But I see you looking at other women that have large breasts, and I want to be as attractive as they are to you."

This goes on for quite some time, despite my assurances that she really doesn't need the procedure...

After several weeks of this, I had about enough of the pestering . So I said to my wife, "Honey, I have an idea. Every day, about twice a day, wad up some toilet paper, then rub it between your breasts."

"You think that'll make my breasts larger!?"

"Why not?" said I, "It worked on your ass!"
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Old 08-30-2008, 10:12 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by SandSquid View Post
A few months before I got home form Iraq my wife wife asks if I'd like her to have breast implants.

I told her "I love you just the way you are, I don;t care about all that."

"But I see you looking at other women that have large breasts, and I want to be as attractive as they are to you."

This goes on for quite some time, despite my assurances that she really doesn't need the procedure...

After several weeks of this, I had about enough of the pestering . So I said to my wife, "Honey, I have an idea. Every day, about twice a day, wad up some toilet paper, then rub it between your breasts."

"You think that'll make my breasts larger!?"

"Why not?" said I, "It worked on your ass!"
When did you get out of Intensive Care to send this.
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Old 08-31-2008, 12:36 PM   #6
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Why would she want his butt any bigger?
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Old 08-31-2008, 07:11 PM   #7
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Why would she want his butt any bigger?
Simple.... "matching asses"
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Old 08-31-2008, 07:13 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by bill10418 View Post
When did you get out of Intensive Care to send this.
I was several thousand miles away... and though we got mortared a lot, I was still safer than being in the same room with her at that time ;-) If there was ONE time I could use that joke safely, that was it... Calling home on a DSN line from Balad, Iraq.
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Old 08-31-2008, 07:58 PM   #9
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I was several thousand miles away... and though we got mortared a lot, I was still safer than being in the same room with her at that time ;-) If there was ONE time I could use that joke safely, that was it... Calling home on a DSN line from Balad, Iraq.
I take that you are back safe (sorta)? Now you have to face the music. Always remember that a woman NEVER FORGETS!!!!

By the way, Thank You for your service. Keeping our freedoms!!!

Bill Jandreau
SSG US ARMY (RET)
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Old 08-31-2008, 08:39 PM   #10
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hank You for your service.
Thank YOU, and all tax-paying and voting American's for giving me the privilege to serve.
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