12-24-2012, 05:32 AM
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#1
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Aussie Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cleveland Australia
Posts: 7,762
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A 3D Shoots Christmas Poem
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Mega Doe as carpshooter had shot them all.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Smokes soon would be there.
The old Ladies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of PBR'S danced in their heads.
And MiL in her ‘Thong, and Carpy in the raw,
Had just Shagged there brains out all night long when C.s Pipes up and says for a long mornings Bombing Run would be good!!!.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew with a flash,
Tore open my jocks and threw up out my ass.
The moon
I through was huge to say the least on the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear but THE CARPSHOOTER had fallen out of his Stand,
And Landed on L.C withered hand.
With a little old Southern driver, so lively and quick who hated the colour NIGER!!!!,
I knew in a moment it must be St Smokes.
More rapid than eagles his Curses, they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called me a swear name!
"Now Carpshooter! now, Westy! now, Longcuts36 and Gator!
On, jwelectric! On, Hutch! on Duanelane and Bunnyman!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash you all!"
As dry leaves that he had Smoked before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the curses they flew,
With the sleigh full of Bibles, and St Smokes too.
And then, he had a tinkle, Which I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little dead hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Smokes like a armed robber came with a bound.
He was dressed all in CAMO, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with POT ashes and soot.
A bundle of Arrows he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a Pot Seller, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they were Red! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a a guy who had drunk to much Sherry!
His droll from his little mouth was drawn up like a side show,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a crack pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath RIP.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist Tounges and a jerk of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word more like a threat, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk called turtleman.
And laying his finger aside of his nose he picked out the biggest Boogie from his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a Bat out of hell.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to the Bloody Aussie You'll get yours alright!"
It might not be tomorrow or tonight but Westy One day you'll get whats comming to you alright!!!!!!
The end
Last edited by Westy; 12-24-2012 at 05:43 AM.
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12-24-2012, 05:53 AM
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#2
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Aussie Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cleveland Australia
Posts: 7,762
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A Quick shout out to all you Guys
Last edited by Westy; 12-24-2012 at 05:57 AM.
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12-24-2012, 06:00 AM
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#3
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Aussie Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cleveland Australia
Posts: 7,762
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Funny Thing
Did anyone else notice that Smokes didn't even send me a Christmas Card?????  -------------------  -------------  --------------------------  -----------------------------  -------------------------  ---------------------------  -------------------------------  ---------------------
P:S Smokes don't take me to serious as I'm a Southern Boy just like you??? Ilove a good time and good Friends like you Merry Christmas Smokes And God Bless
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12-24-2012, 06:10 AM
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#4
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Recycle archer
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: westcentral Iowa
Posts: 13,319
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Here's what I think !
It's your story Westy !
Have a " Merry Christmas " !
__________________
Proud owner of one of the original Jennings " Buckmaster " bow , a true deer slaying machine !
I have return to bowhunting in 2012 and have the venison in the fridge to show for it !
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12-24-2012, 06:48 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 412
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carpshooter
It's your story Westy !
Have a " Merry Christmas " !

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But a good one so far wouldn't you say? Poor fellow has been standing to close to the frig lately.
__________________
NEC Instructor @ RCC
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12-24-2012, 06:52 AM
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#6
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Aussie Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cleveland Australia
Posts: 7,762
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carpshooter
It's your story Westy !
Have a " Merry Christmas " !

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you at home?????
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12-24-2012, 07:14 AM
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#7
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Recycle archer
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: westcentral Iowa
Posts: 13,319
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A little known fact !
Quote:
Originally Posted by Westy
you at home?????
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I'm home mate , so fire up the Studabaker , have them drop the draw bridge and head it up my way , mate !
__________________
Proud owner of one of the original Jennings " Buckmaster " bow , a true deer slaying machine !
I have return to bowhunting in 2012 and have the venison in the fridge to show for it !
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12-24-2012, 03:06 PM
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#8
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Aussie Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cleveland Australia
Posts: 7,762
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carpshooter
I'm home mate , so fire up the Studabaker , have them drop the draw bridge and head it up my way , mate ! 
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Message Recived loud and Clear!!!!!!Look out for a fat guy in a red Pick-up Truck or as I say UTE Mate,it's my Bloody Ute!!!!!  
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12-24-2012, 09:11 PM
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#9
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Recycle archer
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: westcentral Iowa
Posts: 13,319
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A little known fact !
Quote:
Originally Posted by Westy
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It's still your story , mate !
__________________
Proud owner of one of the original Jennings " Buckmaster " bow , a true deer slaying machine !
I have return to bowhunting in 2012 and have the venison in the fridge to show for it !
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12-24-2012, 10:14 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: BF IOWA
Posts: 1,188
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Happy holidays!!!
You got carpshooter arrows now you nead his bow to win!!  ....
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12-24-2012, 10:18 PM
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#11
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Aussie Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cleveland Australia
Posts: 7,762
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Quote:
Originally Posted by duanelane
Happy holidays!!!
You got carpshooter arrows now you nead his bow to win!!  ....
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Thats sweet Bugger all Mate????LOL merry christmas Mate!!!!! Had steak and prawns out on the B.B.Q today for lunch and a couple of my mates from the club are comming over tonight should be fun!!Can't wait to get i the pool and cool off!!!!!  
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12-25-2012, 10:37 AM
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#12
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Recycle archer
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: westcentral Iowa
Posts: 13,319
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Here's what I think !
Have a few cold adult beverages , mate !
__________________
Proud owner of one of the original Jennings " Buckmaster " bow , a true deer slaying machine !
I have return to bowhunting in 2012 and have the venison in the fridge to show for it !
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12-26-2012, 06:07 AM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In the horn of Michigan
Posts: 7,113
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Westy
Did anyone else notice that Smokes didn't even send me a Christmas Card?????  -------------------  -------------  --------------------------  -----------------------------  -------------------------  ---------------------------  -------------------------------  ---------------------
P:S Smokes don't take me to serious as I'm a Southern Boy just like you??? Ilove a good time and good Friends like you Merry Christmas Smokes And God Bless
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I got my card and Christmas ham from smokes. LC said he got his too.
Maybe he's mad at you West-T
__________________
A man is as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is.
Enjoy 
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12-26-2012, 06:16 AM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 412
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I got me a new dog, thanks Smokes
__________________
NEC Instructor @ RCC
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12-26-2012, 02:34 PM
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#15
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Aussie Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cleveland Australia
Posts: 7,762
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I got a phone bill from some guy in Iowa???? Man is he hard to understand on the Phone?????  -----------------  ----------  --------------  --------  --------------------  --------------------  Tried some guy in michigan but he didn't want to pick up his phone must have known it was the Aussie !!!!!!
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12-26-2012, 04:19 PM
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#16
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Recycle archer
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: westcentral Iowa
Posts: 13,319
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A little known fact !
Quote:
Originally Posted by Westy
I got a phone bill from some guy in Iowa???? Man is he hard to understand on the Phone?????  -----------------  ----------  ---------------------------------  --------------------  Tried some guy in michigan but he didn't want to pick up his phone must have known it was the Aussie !!!!!!
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I tried my best to sound " Aussie " !  ........................  ............ .......................  .................... ...  ..................  .....
__________________
Proud owner of one of the original Jennings " Buckmaster " bow , a true deer slaying machine !
I have return to bowhunting in 2012 and have the venison in the fridge to show for it !
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12-26-2012, 09:27 PM
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#17
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Aussie Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cleveland Australia
Posts: 7,762
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carpshooter
I tried my best to sound " Aussie " !  ........................  ............ .......................  .................... ...  ..................  .....
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Keep up the good work Mate!!!!!!Your a Bloody bonza beauty bloke old mate!!!!!!  ================  ======== =============  =============  =========== ================
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12-27-2012, 02:47 AM
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#18
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Recycle archer
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: westcentral Iowa
Posts: 13,319
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Here's what I think !
Westy on the sauce again !
__________________
Proud owner of one of the original Jennings " Buckmaster " bow , a true deer slaying machine !
I have return to bowhunting in 2012 and have the venison in the fridge to show for it !
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12-27-2012, 02:52 PM
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#19
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Aussie Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cleveland Australia
Posts: 7,762
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carpshooter
Westy on the sauce again !

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Blood Oath Mate ,you little Ripper C.s can't wait for a great big Red Bogan to poke his head up and go Bye-Bye
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12-27-2012, 04:41 PM
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#20
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Recycle archer
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: westcentral Iowa
Posts: 13,319
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Here's what I think !
Quote:
Originally Posted by Westy
Blood Oath Mate ,you little Ripper C.s can't wait for a great big Red Bogan to poke his head up and go Bye-Bye
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This is got to be another coded message !
__________________
Proud owner of one of the original Jennings " Buckmaster " bow , a true deer slaying machine !
I have return to bowhunting in 2012 and have the venison in the fridge to show for it !
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