A bad day in the woods
Sometimes things go wrong on unprecedented measures. Today I decided to go out behind the house to see if I could call in a deer & perhaps nail a nice buck. Things went well until I arrived near the new stand that I wanted to set up on (knoll near a nice climber tree near swamp). On my way in I applied some doe urine to the scents pads attached to the bottom of my boots figuring I'd lay in a sniff trail for a buck(s) to follow where I would setup. The following sequence of events may not necessarily be in the correct order, as I'm still trying to figure out how so much could go so wrong so quickly. Humor me if you can.
• Upon arrival at the "knoll stand" area I laid down some more doe pee at several locations within bow range with decent shooting lanes. Gotta lay down the scent to draw in the bucks right?
• I then started climbing the knoll to set up my ground blind only to discover I'd forgotten it. Now I ask you, how can anyone forget a blind he's going to hide behind?
• Faced with the decision of whether to go home & get it, or try my luck without it, I figured it would be too late & I would only spook the deer by going out & coming back; it was already 3:45 PM. I'm in camo right, I'm invisible, who needs a blind anyway???
• I looked at the two trees on the knoll & realized they are lousy trees for attaching a tree seat anyway. I can't stand for more than a few minutes because of my damn knee (already starting to swell up).
• Have to find another stand location.
• So I'm walking around on dry leaves, cringing at the noise, trying out several trees, none of which are suitable, all of which are too exposed, none of which have clear shooting lanes.
• One seems to be better than the others however, so I attach the seat & wait 20 minutes for things to quiet down before bleating. I feel like I'm so obvious and posing for the "Worst Stand of The Year Award". What to do?
• I go back to the knoll & set up the tree stand only to find my original decision to leave was the right one. However, it's getting late, so I go for it. The tree is wrapped with vines & the ground is severely steep, not a good place to rest one's feet, especially with my knee acting up.
• By this time I'm soaked with sweat; the deer are probably holding their noses.
• My glasses are fogged up & I can't see ****.
• A battery has died in one hearing aid (my good ear), so a deer could tap me on the shoulder before I'd know it was there. My senses are really tuned for this: I stink, can't see, & can't hear - the deer must be laughing their butts off.
• I clear the leaves at the base of the tree in preparation to sit down & notice that the foot pads are still on.
• I remove one pad & try to remove the other, only to find that the string has knotted up & I can't untie it. Bending over is harder these days.
• I use my knife to cut the string & place the knife back in the sheath. It's awkward doing this as my jacket is outside the sheath & I can only feel my way to do this.
• Trying to blindly push the knife into sheath results in cutting my forefinger.
• The upside is that the knife is really sharp. The downside is that it cuts well.
• So, I sit on the seat watching the blood drip from my finger. Pinching the cut closed is temporary at best. The coyotes are probably scenting me & closing in.
• I bleat a few times only to hear squeaks coming out. What am I doing wrong? Sounds like a herd of field mice.
• Maybe this whole thing is not such a good idea. I must be alerting every deer within a mile.
• Time to leave quietly & hope I don't spook anything on the way out.
• I arrive home at 4:30 PM, strip the gear off & because I sweated so much I sprayed the inside of the camo jacket with Scent Away.
• Unfortunately, yesterday I emptied the Scent Away into a larger spray bottle & poured the doe pee into the small Scent Away spray bottle for use in the woods. Guess which bottle I used to spray my jacket with? My memory fails me at times.
• Have you recently smelled doe pee, up close? You don't want to do it twice! It has a way of staying with you.
• Now I really have to spray the jacket with the real Scent Away, or wash it, otherwise I might be putting myself in jeopardy if I wear the jacket in the woods untreated.
• I clean & bandage the finger, & take a shower.
• Another day down the tubes!
• It's tough getting older, all because I forgot the damn ground blind!
• Can't wait for tomorrow for another day in the woods.
"A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!"
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