Need a person in the archery business

[Where's Bruce?]

I need an accomplice. Some of you married guys may understand this better than others.

I need somebody who works for (or owns) a business in the archery field to send me an email (with an email address from the business) that reads as follows:

Dear Mr. Carter,
Congratulations! You are the winner in our Take-A-Bow raffle held at our Fletching Endeavors fundraiser at the Mile Square Park last weekend. You have won a Hoyt Carbon Matrix Plus compound bow valued at $1599.99 which will be shipped to you from our Fulfillment Center in Washington. Before we can send it we need the specifications you want (draw length, weight, choice of three cams & color pattern), then allow one week for delivery. Please visit http://www.hoyt.com/compound_bows/de...on+matrix+plus to view the available options and reply or call us with your specific preferences.

We hope you enjoy your new Hoyt Carbon Matrix Plus…the strongest, most indestructible compound bow in the world and thank you for supporting Fletching Endeavors.
Sincerely,

Name here
Fundraising Chair
A logo or banner ad would be a nice touch.

Why am I requesting this? Simple. I recently purchased this bow and don’t need any grief from the missus. This way I not only get the bow I want but a play day this weekend as well (while I am at the event). She’s seen me win countless raffles and I have found that part of “wearing the pants” means not asking for permission or forgiveness” so there it is. I’m a big fat liar. If she asks me if “these pants make her backside look big?” I instantly lie. "Hell no! You look great honey!" No hesitation. I lie because I love my wife. So…who will help me in this deceitful and victimless endeavor? Anyone?

[BUNNYMAN]

getting others to lie to your wife? why not just print it out and sign it like a Dr.?


there was a guy a few years ago that was gonna start a website like this...for this exact reason...

[Where's Bruce?]

It's a Hoyt Carbon Matrix Plus! Nuff said. Bowhunting...it's an addiction.

[BUNNYMAN]

Originally Posted by Where's Bruce?

It's a Hoyt Carbon Matrix Plus! Nuff said. Bowhunting...it's an addiction.

I guess thats supposed to be a good one?

[luther1980]

Lmao......i feel your pain bud,unfortunately i cant help ya out...i do wonder this though,what if one of your buds spills the beans to his wife,wich in turn tattles to your wife?your wifes feelings should be worth more to you than a bow....so just tell her,just be calm and cool.....then before she can even have time to react get all excited like a 5 yr old at toys r us,then say thanks babe(like you where asking for permission)then skip on out the door once again before she has tine to react and haul butt to the store lol...shell be all confused trying to figure out why in the heck she just agreed to this,that she wont say a thing...

[Where's Bruce?]

Two reasons that won't work:

1. She's Sicilian from NYC. No stupid.
2. She already believes I have uncommon luck in raffles as I have been winning raffles since we got married! LMAO I've won rifles, pistols, fishing rods & reels...all kinds of cool stuff.

Fortunately I am sharp enough to post this request in places where nobody knows me and there is zero chance of a "leak"...now I just need a new archery buddy. There just has to be sympathetic soul out there that understands my situation.

[CutTheLoop]

what a tangled web we weave...

[Where's Bruce?]

The keys to a successful marriage are:

1. Faithfulness (don't sleep around)
2. Caring (be a friend all the time)
3. Don't be too honest. An occasional white lie that doesn't hurt is not only okay, it's essential to a happy marriage. ("No honey, those pants don't make your butt look big, you have perfect curves!")

What works for me may not work for you. LOL

[BUNNYMAN]

Something tells me that if you could really afford this bow...there wouldnt be the need to LIE...

[09Dreamseason]

I could help with this endeavor, but you open a can of worms with liability!

A "company" sends you this letter, and you decide you want another carbon matrix so you sue the "company" for never shipping one to you!

You have to understand the legal liability this could raise if someone(not suggesting you) decided to use this for different purposes.

[BUNNYMAN]

Originally Posted by 09Dreamseason

I could help with this endeavor, but you open a can of worms with liability!

A "company" sends you this letter, and you decide you want another carbon matrix so you sue the "company" for never shipping one to you!

You have to understand the legal liability this could raise if someone(not suggesting you) decided to use this for different purposes.

You know thats exactly what I was thinking when I first read it...glad I am not the only one to think that...

[09Dreamseason]

I'm willing to do this for you if you send me an email explaining exactly what your original post explains word for word and that you will NOT sue for anything and that you know you will NOT receive anything from my company.........if you can do that I will do this for you.

As one married man to another!

Contact me via PM for my email address!

[Where's Bruce?]

My wife is going thru "the change" and between the hot flashes, depression and moments of insanity...I am walking on eggshells this year. Sure hope this menopausal grief ends soon! Yikes!! I PMed ya. How can I return the favor?

PS: Sincerest thanks to the moderators too...those mods at Archerytalk not only yanked my post but preached at me via PM for two days too. Of course, I've been married longer than their mod has been alive so he has some learnin' to do.

I will post photos of the new bow after I get decked out.

[09Dreamseason]

PM replied, you need to clear your inbox.....it's full!

You also have mail!

[09Dreamseason]

I'll leave it up to you to decide what this favor was worth!

Paul

[Bburg Hunt N Fish]

I'd be there to help but it's the wrong bow brand

[poorman]

This is funny crap, I dont care who you are.

[Wheely]

so, she is not going to notice that much money is missing?

Sad, very sad..... I sure hope you don't get screwed 09Dreamseason

[BUNNYMAN]

if he is this sneaky about...something tells me he hid the money too...

there are times when I have $20 my wife doesnt know about but $1500?

[foamkiller]

If she is Sicilian you will be "sleeping with the fishes"

[red44]

Grow a pair Where's Bruce.

[Where's Bruce?]

Originally Posted by red44

Grow a pair Where's Bruce.

Trust me...this takes balls...menopausal Italian women use knives.

I know some of you guys go to great lengths to hide some of your purchases. Tell me I'm wrong. Go ahead....lie. LOL

FYI: This isn't about the money, we own 3 businesses and my wife buys me a bottle of Gran Patron every other month ($600.00/btl) but it's hard for her to wrap her head around a $1500.00 rifle scope or "another bow" regardless of the cost. Just avoiding that whole discussion.

[DBLLNGR]

your crazy to do this my wife knows everything I buy for archery half the time she wants to help pick it out if you would lie about this what else would you lie about hmmm. 09dreamseason how does this not suprize me that you would do this.

[Where's Bruce?]

You wanna list?

Here's some more lies...

How I feel about my mother-in-law
How I feel about how my wife's short new haircut
How she looks in Crocs
What I think of Lifetime (the man-hating channel) specials and soaps operas
That she's a good driver
That the toilet sear should always be down
That my kid has a great singing voice


This could take some serious bandwidth...

[BUNNYMAN]

I draw the line at the toilet seat BS...

Thats crap...if I have to put it up....she can put it down...we agreed on this along time ago...

[Gator eye]

You ever wonder what she's lieing to you about????Hummm........

[vortec 1]

How creative
Just when you thought you seen it all!!!
I look at it like this She'll get over it. I let my wife be suprized when UPS shows up at the door with my stuff. But I always plan ahead(overtime) or sell stuff.I always got it covered!!

[BUNNYMAN]

Originally Posted by Gator eye

You ever wonder what she's lieing to you about????Hummm........

I KNOW I KNOW!!!!

[Where's Bruce?]

Seriously, I don't wanna know the whole truth. Some things I would just be happier not knowing. For instance, I went on a long range fishing trip and when i returned home 10 days later, I drove right past my own house...didn't recognize it. My wife has secretly arranged to have the trees removed, planted flowers, painted the house all new colors, put a roll-up grage door in and replaced the front door with a much bigger two-door leaded glass entryway.

Best home improvement project I never had to deal with! When it comes to the important stuff (like fidelity) there is no worry. We are very close, share identical values and know the "fudge" can only apply to things that don't really matter. Been married a long long time...works for us. others may be different.

[Gator eye]

Originally Posted by vortec 1

How creative
Just when you thought you seen it all!!!
I look at it like this She'll get over it. I let my wife be suprized when UPS shows up at the door with my stuff. But I always plan ahead(overtime) or sell stuff.I always got it covered!!

I use your tactic, better to ask for forgiveness then for permission..........Then I take my beating and move along.


UPS even drives by the house and she's calling "What did you buy this time"

[aligator]

Originally Posted by Where's Bruce?

Two reasons that won't work:

1. She's Sicilian from NYC. No stupid.
2. She already believes I have uncommon luck in raffles as I have been winning raffles since we got married! LMAO I've won rifles, pistols, fishing rods & reels...all kinds of cool stuff.

Fortunately I am sharp enough to post this request in places where nobody knows me and there is zero chance of a "leak"...now I just need a new archery buddy. There just has to be sympathetic soul out there that understands my situation.

Tell her you talked to me, Sicilian/Calabras from N.Y. That trumps a Sicilian.
By the way My last name in Sicilian is "Bowman"for real) If you get a new bow good luck will come to you. I been married 54 years, I know how to work it.

[vortec 1]

Originally Posted by Gator eye

I use your tactic, better to ask for forgiveness then for permission..........Then I take my beating and move along.


UPS even drives by the house and she's calling "What did you buy this time"

Couldn't have said it better myself.My wife does the same thing!!!

[Where's Bruce?]

You've got mail buddy!

[rodney482]

Good luck

[Where's Bruce?]

Originally Posted by rodney482

Good luck

I was lucky! I won a free bow today!! Wife is thrilled for me!!! Wants to buy me a case for it since it wasn't included in the raffle. My sides ache from laughing (when she's not around).

[Westy]

Originally Posted by Where's Bruce?

The keys to a successful marriage are:

1. Faithfulness (don't sleep around)
2. Caring (be a friend all the time)
3. Don't be too honest. An occasional white lie that doesn't hurt is not only okay, it's essential to a happy marriage. ("No honey, those pants don't make your butt look big, you have perfect curves!")

What works for me may not work for you. LOL

My wife asked me does my butt look big in this??? And I replyed what the dress or the hallway guess you know what happened next!!!!

Just tell the truth, tell your wife your holding it for a Mate at work who's wife isn't as understanding as she is!! then just put it up on the wall and after a month or so no problems!!!

The older we get the better we were!!

[Where's Bruce?]

The missus was so happy about my raffle win that she's buying a me a SKB case for it! ROTF!!!

[09Dreamseason]

That is so awesome buddy, I'm glad you won our "Raffle"!

[09Dreamseason]

Originally Posted by DBLLNGR

09dreamseason how does this not suprize me that you would do this.

I have no idea what you are referring to....

[09Dreamseason]

need to see photos Bruce!