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Old 08-03-2012, 07:52 AM   #1
Gator eye
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Default Speed beef time of year!!!

A farmer that lives down the way called one of Michigan's finest DNR officer and complained about all the speed beef he saw eating his beans. Mr. DNR took a drive out and said 'Wow you got alot of Critter chewing on your beans, here let me bestow some of the coveted crop damage permits upon you".

Well now.........

My good buddy mr. Farmer walks into his shop where he finds me in my normal position by his fridge drinking one of his cold beers and said to me "Gator, your a pretty good guy, you always help me find the bottom of each box of beer I buy, you always offer your advise and opinion even when I don't ask. You even hold the light while I work on stuff. Let me pay you back for all your hard work with a coveted crop damage permit"

Here it is boys...........stare and be in aahhh.
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Old 08-03-2012, 08:04 AM   #2
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Now the boys at remington heard of my good news and they decided to team up with NASA and create the perfect speed beef round.

Here's what they came up with............it's a special neck seeking 45-70 gov. round . It is guaranteed to stop a speed beef in it's tracks if placed in the neck region. The neck locator in the tip of this round is a hit or miss round, if it hits there is no tracking involved, one moment the speed beef is eating a mouth full of beans and the next bite she gets a bite of sweet honey clover in God's field. She doesn't know how she got there and the clover is soo good she doesn't care. If it's a miss, she says damn that was close and run into the woods. either way no tracking involved.

Without futher BS here it is............Job well done, boys.
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Old 08-03-2012, 08:13 AM   #3
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Well after hearing what NASA and Remington had put together for a round, the guys at Ruger didn't want to be outdone so they put there heads together and came up with a special speed beef dispatching gun.

Now this here dispatching unit is so far advance they will not let me release any close up pictures just for the plain fact if the Russians get ahold of this design, why...it just might change the history of the world. So I can't get you a close pic but you can see this unit in the back ground if you look close enough.

Anyway, This here dispatching unit is based off the ruger no. 1 design and fitted with a under rate swift scope. It's simple one shot design is a perfect fit to the neck seeking round.
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Old 08-03-2012, 08:23 AM   #4
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Now one more thing before I show the end results of this story,

You will notice in the following pics the special design of the camo clothes we"re hunting in. This patent applied for design was a brain storm of yours truly, and after many years of research I believe I have a winner.

It is call my "Don't move stupid" line of clothes. It is based off the theory that speed beef are color blind but see movement really well so if you don't move there is a good chance they won't see you.

Now the guys at mossy oak and the dury bros. have been sending spies to my shop trying to steal my designs because if my design ever gets out it will blow the doors off of what camo clothing really does, which is hiding the fact that they came up with a great way to take money out of your pocket and put it in there's.

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Old 08-03-2012, 08:31 AM   #5
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In my super special camo clothes I put the sneek on this doe along the edge of a bean field, got up to about 35 yards and the rest is history. One down 3 more to go.

Put this story all together and here is what you get.

Life is good
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Old 08-03-2012, 08:34 AM   #6
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Hey boys, guess what I'm havin for dinner tonight
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Old 08-03-2012, 01:30 PM   #7
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Good stuff Gator. You'd better start growling or something there is a shemale sizing up the loins. I'm not sure I'd want to shoot a 45/70 in a tee shirt. That's what big thick wool coats are for. You'll end up bruised from your earlobe to your elbow.
Who'd of thunk it, you can get a permit for special needs deer.
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Old 08-03-2012, 03:03 PM   #8
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You my friend are one happy Dude!!!!I think this is the best Bit of news since ,well ever Gator I'm proud to call you my Mate !!!!!!One day i'm comming to visit you Bro and were going to try that speed Beef killing machine out LOL!!!!Does that permit thing only let you shoot 1 Deer as we don't have them here.permits that is???? Love your work Mate
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Old 08-03-2012, 09:30 PM   #9
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As I see the permit, it is only for damaqed deer. So they got to be hopping on 3 or spinning circles or something to clearly show they are damaged. Not an easy target even with a gun.
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Old 08-06-2012, 06:54 AM   #10
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They give out crop damage permits pretty freely around here to farmers that show damage to there fields. I think there were around 12 deer in that bean field when I shot that doe, 3 dandy bucks all in velvet and playing around with each other and the others were does and fawns. I always try to pick out a fawnless one or a doe with a big fawn so there's a good chance of the fawn making it without momma.
After you shoot a doe you fill out the tag, you send the stub back in, they register that the permit was used and ship another tag in the mail intil they reach the quota. I think my farrmer buddy got 8 permits in all this year.
It a nice way to get freezer meat early in the year so I can work on horns when the season opens.
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Old 08-06-2012, 04:15 PM   #11
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Sounds like your gona have a good time..... Wish me and the kid could start fillin the depervasion tags we were gave . We have to wait till oct. 1 and can only use whatever weapon is in season ..........
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Old 08-06-2012, 04:32 PM   #12
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Sounds like your gona have a good time..... Wish me and the kid could start fillin the depervasion tags we were gave . We have to wait till oct. 1 and can only use whatever weapon is in season ..........
youmight need to get your Butt Down Under as all eer are now declared a feral pest so no seasons and you can use what ever means to destroy them you like!!! Get on the BigBird And yours truely will be waiting
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Old 08-06-2012, 07:35 PM   #13
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youmight need to get your Butt Down Under as all eer are now declared a feral pest so no seasons and you can use what ever means to destroy them you like!!! Get on the BigBird And yours truely will be waiting


Ive ben to your big island on the USS KITTY HAWK back in my USMC days. They had a engine prob yours truley was the man 4 the job. I met some guys at the local pub that would put any redneck to shame! I would prob never leave!......................
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Old 08-06-2012, 08:14 PM   #14
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What a nice option to have as a deer eater Gator. Good tasting does to put in the deep freeze and the chance to pass on some to hunt a monster.
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Old 08-07-2012, 01:44 AM   #15
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Ive ben to your big island on the USS KITTY HAWK back in my USMC days. They had a engine prob yours truley was the man 4 the job. I met some guys at the local pub that would put any redneck to shame! I would prob never leave!......................
Which city were you in????Might ask around and see who knows about this event!!!!!!As for the rednecks their *****s and they don't knoew what a reakl hick is!!!!
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:42 PM   #16
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Which city were you in????Might ask around and see who knows about this event!!!!!!As for the rednecks their *****s and they don't knoew what a reakl hick is!!!!



The KITTY HAWK....... is a us navel ship they was headed to sydney but had prob took port at melbourne. heck thats ben 21 yrs ago now i feel old ! ....
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:17 PM   #17
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The KITTY HAWK....... is a us navel ship they was headed to sydney but had prob took port at melbourne. heck thats ben 21 yrs ago now i feel old ! ....
Your not goimg tpo beleive me when i tell you this but Melbourne is the cultural hub of Australia!!!If you met a redneck there I'd be surprised,the real Yobbos live up here in the North with me!!!! The redneck Capital of Australia is a littl place Called Gympie here in Queensland.Most Resisidents have a large scare on the shoulder were they had the seconnd head removed,Gympie it's Aboriginal for place of 2 heads!!!!!! see what you missed out on????Funny thing is it's also the place where the best Red Deer can be found in Australia
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Old 08-08-2012, 07:18 AM   #18
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Your not goimg tpo beleive me when i tell you this but Melbourne is the cultural hub of Australia!!!If you met a redneck there I'd be surprised,the real Yobbos live up here in the North with me!!!! The redneck Capital of Australia is a littl place Called Gympie here in Queensland.Most Resisidents have a large scare on the shoulder were they had the seconnd head removed,Gympie it's Aboriginal for place of 2 heads!!!!!! see what you missed out on????Funny thing is it's also the place where the best Red Deer can be found in Australia
Sounds like my kind of place............
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Old 08-08-2012, 10:19 AM   #19
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Your not goimg tpo beleive me when i tell you this but Melbourne is the cultural hub of Australia!!!If you met a redneck there I'd be surprised,the real Yobbos live up here in the North with me!!!! The redneck Capital of Australia is a littl place Called Gympie here in Queensland.Most Resisidents have a large scare on the shoulder were they had the seconnd head removed,Gympie it's Aboriginal for place of 2 heads!!!!!! see what you missed out on????Funny thing is it's also the place where the best Red Deer can be found in Australia:frusty


JUST MY LUCK!...... if the guys werent real readnecks i must just be a poser........... they only had about 3 teeth between them and a beat to ..land druiser............
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