Archery Forums 3DShoots.com
Find Archery Shoots near you  |   Advertise on 3DShoots.com

Go Back   Archery Forums 3DShoots.com > Clubhouse Lounge > Jokes Forum
 

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-03-2007, 08:24 PM   #1
BUNNYMAN
I pray for you!
 
BUNNYMAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: the Hutch
Posts: 29,888
BUNNYMAN will become famous soon enoughBUNNYMAN will become famous soon enough
Default Updated Company Policy

Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly you need to learn to manage your money better so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Bereavement Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the Arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.




Toilet Use

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break

Skinny people get 60 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.


Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a Positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
__________________
I cut things up and split them down!
BUNNYMAN is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2007, 08:27 PM   #2
Wheely
Wheely Threads
 
Wheely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 5,595
Wheely has a spectacular aura aboutWheely has a spectacular aura about
Default

Wheely is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2007, 10:15 PM   #3
justiadak
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Pa.
Posts: 60
justiadak is on a distinguished road
Default

holly **** you work here too.
__________________
kersey pa.
mathews conquest Pro
target
Mathews LX
hunting
justiadak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 05:51 AM   #4
BOWTECHER
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 134
BOWTECHER is on a distinguished road
Default

So Bowman, your lunch period would be how long then???
__________________
2005 Allegiance
BOWTECHER is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 07:40 AM   #5
BUNNYMAN
I pray for you!
 
BUNNYMAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: the Hutch
Posts: 29,888
BUNNYMAN will become famous soon enoughBUNNYMAN will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BOWTECHER View Post
So Bowman, your lunch period would be how long then???
4.5 seconds for eating........44 minuets, 56.5 seconds for shooting the new Prestige out back......
__________________
I cut things up and split them down!
BUNNYMAN is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 07:45 AM   #6
BOWTECHER
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 134
BOWTECHER is on a distinguished road
Default

That must be nice, where do you work at?
__________________
2005 Allegiance
BOWTECHER is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 07:48 AM   #7
BUNNYMAN
I pray for you!
 
BUNNYMAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: the Hutch
Posts: 29,888
BUNNYMAN will become famous soon enoughBUNNYMAN will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BOWTECHER View Post
That must be nice, where do you work at?
small family bussiness w/a nice big feild behind the shop.....

I am a small engine repair specialist.......andyes I had to go to school to be able to say that.....
__________________
I cut things up and split them down!
BUNNYMAN is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 08:08 AM   #8
BowhuntnHoosier
Bisquit.......
 
BowhuntnHoosier's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hoosierville
Posts: 13,882
BowhuntnHoosier has a spectacular aura aboutBowhuntnHoosier has a spectacular aura aboutBowhuntnHoosier has a spectacular aura about
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by justiadak View Post
holly **** you work here too.
Just what I was thinking. We are having so many cut backs at work I'm not sure about anything anymore. Do I have to raise my hand to go to the restroom and then when coming back can I stop and get a drink because I forgot to ask about that when I asked to go to the restroom.
__________________


"HONDA"
BowhuntnHoosier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 08:08 AM   #9
Dredly
Site Guru
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saylorsburg PA
Posts: 4,358
Dredly will become famous soon enough
Send a message via AIM to Dredly
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BOWMAN View Post
small family bussiness w/a nice big feild behind the shop.....

I am a small engine repair specialist.......andyes I had to go to school to be able to say that.....
by "school" he means he was homeschooled and Marie taught him everything he knows... typically in the form of "FIX IT NOW BEFORE I HIT YOU WITH THIS PAN!"
__________________
No I'm not dead
Dredly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 08:12 AM   #10
BowhuntnHoosier
Bisquit.......
 
BowhuntnHoosier's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hoosierville
Posts: 13,882
BowhuntnHoosier has a spectacular aura aboutBowhuntnHoosier has a spectacular aura aboutBowhuntnHoosier has a spectacular aura about
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dredly View Post
by "school" he means he was homeschooled and Marie taught him everything he knows... typically in the form of "FIX IT NOW BEFORE I HIT YOU WITH THIS PAN!"
Marie is not like that..............at least not when I talk to her.
__________________


"HONDA"
BowhuntnHoosier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 08:37 AM   #11
BUNNYMAN
I pray for you!
 
BUNNYMAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: the Hutch
Posts: 29,888
BUNNYMAN will become famous soon enoughBUNNYMAN will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BowhuntnHoosier View Post
Marie is not like that..............at least not when I talk to her.
so what praytell do you guys talk about???

and by the way, its all to save face...she is mean....
__________________
I cut things up and split them down!
BUNNYMAN is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 09:26 AM   #12
Dredly
Site Guru
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saylorsburg PA
Posts: 4,358
Dredly will become famous soon enough
Send a message via AIM to Dredly
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BowhuntnHoosier View Post
Marie is not like that..............at least not when I talk to her.
Thats because Bowman has already fixed everything
__________________
No I'm not dead
Dredly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2007, 06:55 PM   #13
killbambidead
bambi killer
 
killbambidead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Red bud il
Posts: 733
killbambidead is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BOWMAN View Post
4.5 seconds for eating........44 minuets, 56.5 seconds for shooting the new Prestige out back......
bowman 56.5+4.5= 61 theres 60 seconds in a minute .. its ok
killbambidead is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:02 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright 2004 3DShoots.com