Things to do at a public pool
Stand on top of the high board and say you won’t come down until your demands are met.
Tell the lifeguards that they aren’t doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.
Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
Take a flutter board and pretend you can’t swim.
Hit strangers with your flutter board.
Ask an attractive lifeguard to practise CPR on you.
Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, ‘’Oh yeah… oooh that feels soooo good….'’
Sit on the top of the water slide and don’t move.
Swim near a stranger and go ‘’Dammit I knew I shouldn’t have had watermelon before I came here.'’
Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.
Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say ‘’HA-HA, fooled you!'’