A Gun in the House 1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you. 2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck. 3. I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy. 4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away. 5. Beware the man who only has one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT! 6. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 19 11 the Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46.' When once asked by a lady visiting if there was a gun in the house. The answer was ‘yes’. Her comment, 'Well I certainly hope it isn't loaded!' The retort 'of course it is loaded, can't work without bullets!' Her question 'Are you that afraid of some one evil coming into your house?' The reply, 'no not at all, I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too.' An unloaded gun in the house is like a car in the driveway - with no gas.