More "You might be a Redneck if..."

Discussion in 'Jokes Forum' started by BowhuntnHoosier, Jul 27, 2007.

  1. BowhuntnHoosier

    BowhuntnHoosier Bisquit.......

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    Now how many of you can relate to #1,and #8

    "You know you're! a redneck when......


    1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

    2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

    3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

    5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

    6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

    7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

    8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

    9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

    10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

    11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

    12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

    13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

    14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

    15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

    16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

    17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

    18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

    19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean.

    20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

    21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

    22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

    23 You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

    24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart

    25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

    26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

    27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

    28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

    29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

    30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
     
  2. Holy Smokes

    Holy Smokes Senior Member

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    I made it on a few of those items.
    One thing I learned on my trip up North.
    They is necks up there to.
    Some of em grow their hair long just ta hide tha color of their neck.
     

  3. BUNNYMAN

    BUNNYMAN I pray for you!

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    and then some just shave it completly OFF,........:laugh:

    right SMOKES....
     
  4. SinGin

    SinGin Banned

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    #2,3, and 6 for me.
     
  5. Holy Smokes

    Holy Smokes Senior Member

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    You said it ol bud.

    Only I don't need ta shave mine to much.
    God done took care of tha fer me.:laugh:
     
  6. kbohunt

    kbohunt are u a fat boy?

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    Yep!

    This is My home page!
    Ive got atleast half of them covered!
    Still tryin to learn how to spit with your mouth closed!
    Do ya know how to do that smokes?:spit:
     
  7. brokenarrow

    brokenarrow Evil Genius

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    I like #20...:lol: :dizzy:
     
  8. kbohunt

    kbohunt are u a fat boy?

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    Redneck!

    I just read a new one!
    If you have sex with your partner under the tree-stand your about to hunt from!
    YOU MIGHT BE A RED-NECK!:laugh:
     
  9. Holy Smokes

    Holy Smokes Senior Member

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    Nope ain't got that one figgered out yet.

    Do I git credit fer tryin'?
     
  10. kbohunt

    kbohunt are u a fat boy?

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    Yep!

    I dont think it can be done!:lol:
     
  11. QSA

    QSA One eyed/Gutless wonder

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    You have a in ground pool in your back yard. With a boat ramp.
     
  12. Hoyt1986

    Hoyt1986 GIT R-DONE!!!!!!

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    You might be a redneck if you use your deer decoys as christmas decorations in your front yard!:peace: