Biker's Christmas poem....

Discussion in 'Jokes Forum' started by IChim2, Dec 22, 2007.

  1. IChim2

    IChim2 IChim2 and he's a shooter

    Twas the night before Christmas,and all through my pad,
    there was nada happening,now man that's a drag.
    The woodstove was hung with that stocking routine,
    in hopes that the fat boy would soon make the scene.
    With our stomach's packed with taco's and beer,
    My girl and i crashed on the couch for some cheer.
    When out in the yard there arose such a racket'
    i ran to the door and put on my jacket.
    I saw a large Bro' on a '56 pan,
    wearing black leathers,a cap and boots(cool biker man).
    He hauled up the bars on that bike full of sacks,
    the pan hit the roof like it was running on tracks.
    I couldn't help gawking,this dude had some class,
    but i had to go in-i was frezzing my :censored: .
    Down through the stovepipe he fell with a crash,
    and out of the stove he came with some stach.
    With a smile and a glee,he passed out some loot'
    a jacket for her and some parts for my scoot.
    He patted her fanny and shook my right hand,
    spun on his heel and up the stovepipe he ran.
    From the top of the roof there came a great thunder,
    as that massive V-Twin rumbbled like thunder.
    With his beard in the wind,he road off in the night,
    Shouting,Have a cool yule and to all a good ride.
  2. QSA

    QSA One eyed/Gutless wonder

    This one is funny

    'Twas The Night Before Christmas, Legal Version

    (Legal Version) Author Unknown Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse. A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House, were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams. Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.) Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtent to said House, i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance. At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter the "Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus. Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen (hereinafter the "Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named Rudolph may have been involved.) The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney. Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations. Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.) Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination. However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.