gotta love those cops!

Discussion in 'Jokes Forum' started by hduc2005, Oct 22, 2007.

  1. hduc2005

    hduc2005 Senior Member

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    a little humor for you...
    These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around
    the country:



    #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
    went through."

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
    after you wear them a while."

    # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate
    a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
    speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
    write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
    will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
    again, or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether You are drunk
    or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
    to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey crap."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
    oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
    allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of
    yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

    AND THE WINNER IS... #1 "You didn't thin k we give pretty women tickets?
    You're right, we don't. Sign here."
     
  2. jt13077

    jt13077 Senior Member

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  3. lshunter

    lshunter Junior Member

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    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
    speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."


    my favorite one....:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     
  4. QSA

    QSA One eyed/Gutless wonder

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    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
    again, or I'll give you another ticket."


    that ia my fav.