Guys don't get too many ideas about embarrasing your ladies at wal-mart

Discussion in 'Jokes Forum' started by bennysupreme, Jan 30, 2008.

  1. bennysupreme

    bennysupreme New Member

    Subject: Walmart


    After Mr. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton
    insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

    Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most
    men--he found shopping boring, and he preferred to get in and get out.

    Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like
    most women--she loved to browse. One day, Mrs. Fenton received the following
    letter from her local Wal-Mart:

    Dear Mrs. Fenton,

    Over the past six months, your husband has
    been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this
    behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
    against Mr. Fenton are listed below, and are documented by our video
    surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and
    randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House
    Wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on
    the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and
    told her in an official voice,
    "Code 3 in House Wares. Get on it right

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and
    tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

    6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET
    FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the
    camping department, and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they
    would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

    8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they
    could help him, he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just
    leave me alone?"

    9. October 4: Looked right into the security
    camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling guns in the
    hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store
    suspiciously, while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, he
    practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and
    when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

    14. December 21: When an announcement came
    over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed "OH NO!

    And last, but not least ....

    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room,
    shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no
    toilet paper in here!"