heres a funny

Discussion in 'Offtopic' started by BUNNYMAN, Feb 20, 2007.

  1. BUNNYMAN

    BUNNYMAN I pray for you!

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    Why it's important to understand English:

    When I got back from Montana last week I had a bunch
    of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
    the currency exchange window at the local bank. It was
    a short line with just one guy in front of me...an
    Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars
    and he was a little irritated! He asked the teller,
    "Why it change?? Yestoday, I get two huna dolla of
    yen. Today I get huna eighty?? Why it change?" The
    teller shrugged her shoulders and said,
    "Fluctuations". The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white
    people too!"
     
  2. STRO

    STRO get'n rid of target panic

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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     

  3. BUNNYMAN

    BUNNYMAN I pray for you!

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    brokeback deer camp

    The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they
    voted to take turns.
    The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night ."

    The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."

    The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning," he said. They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?"

    He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."
     
  4. brokenarrow

    brokenarrow Evil Genius

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    That's funny right there...
     
  5. Holy Smokes

    Holy Smokes Senior Member

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    :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: HS
     
  6. Holy Smokes

    Holy Smokes Senior Member

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    :pound: :pound: :pound: :pound: HS
     
  7. BUNNYMAN

    BUNNYMAN I pray for you!

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    A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time . The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his
    first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy
    quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."


    The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
     
  8. Holy Smokes

    Holy Smokes Senior Member

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    Once upon a time there was this churh and man would they ever have a good time and the preacher was a really lively feller. He was apreaching abopt the ol devil and man was he laying it on thick All of a sudden the floor started to shake and thunder claped and the lighting statred to aflashing. Then right in front of the pulpit a big cloud of smoke boiled up and guess who was in the middle of it,yup the devil himself.
    Well the preacher he jumped out the side winder and the chior they fled out the back doors and the cogragation they like to trampled each other to death atrying to get out the back double doors.
    Thel devil snorts and looks around and spies this one elderly Brother just nocholontly sittin there and the devil snorts agian and fire flys from his nostril and he stomps back to the old feller and each time his foot hits the floor fire and thunder fills the sanctuary. when he gets back to the old brother . He asks why he ain't ascared of him and he looks up at this very intimidating devil and say's. Why should I be affered of you , Ive been married to your sister for 40 years. HS
     
  9. BUNNYMAN

    BUNNYMAN I pray for you!

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    simple home remedies

    1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will
    prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
    after you hit the snooze button.

    2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives,
    then you will be afraid to cough.

    3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables
    by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    4. For the guys: avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet
    seat by simply using the sink.

    5. Have a bad headache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and
    you will quickly forget about the headache.
     
  10. BUNNYMAN

    BUNNYMAN I pray for you!

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    this one deserves its own thread.....

    One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers
    did for a living.

    All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman,
    salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

    However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when
    the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an
    exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other
    men and they put money in his underwear.

    Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy
    and stay with him all night for money."

    The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the
    other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to
    ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

    "No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and
    is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was
    too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.
     
  11. brokenarrow

    brokenarrow Evil Genius

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    Now That's Funny......:pound: :pound: :pound: