Leave us at home

Discussion in 'Jokes Forum' started by j3dGuam, Aug 6, 2007.

  1. j3dGuam

    j3dGuam Senior Member

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    :biggrin1: This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
    DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........

    After Mr. And Mrs. Rick O'Brien retired, Mrs. O'Brien insisted her
    husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

    Unfortunately, Mr. Rick O'Brien was like most men--he found shopping boring
    And preferred to get in and get out.

    Equally unfortunate, Mrs. O'Brien was like most women--she loved to
    Browse.

    One day Mrs. O'Brien received the
    following letter from her local
    Wal-Mart.

    Dear Mrs. Rick O'Brien,

    Over the past six months, your husband, Rick, has been causing quite a
    Commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
    Forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
    Rick O'Brien are listed below and are documented by our video Surveillance
    Cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
    people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5
    Minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
    women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
    Voice, "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
    M&M's on layaway.

    6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted
    Area.

    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
    Other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
    And blankets from the bedding department.

    8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
    Crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"


    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as
    A mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
    Asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
    Humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna
    Look" by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
    Through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
    Assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
    AGAIN!"

    And last, but not least,

    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
    Awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper
    In here!"
     
  2. lungcutter

    lungcutter Senior Member

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    Try taking turkey calls and coyote calls to the mall and have your son carry on a turkey talk with you. The coyote calls make great locator calls. This keeps the wife from making you go shoping for about 6 months. :biggrin1: