Smart A.. Answers....A little off color but not 2 bad

Discussion in 'Jokes Forum' started by MoSkeeter0311, Dec 6, 2007.

  1. MoSkeeter0311

    MoSkeeter0311 New Member

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    6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS
    >
    > SMART ASS ANSWER #6
    > It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
    > 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in
    > front. 'What are my choices?' John asked.
    > 'Yes or no,' she replied.
    >
    > SMART ASS ANSWER #5
    > A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
    tickets.
    > As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
    opened
    > his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said,
    > 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'
    >
    > SMART ASS ANSWER #4
    > A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store
    but
    > she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
    > She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
    > The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
    >
    > SMART ASS ANSWER #3
    > The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
    > rolled down his window.
    > 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said.
    > The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
    > When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
    > without a ticket.
    >
    > SMART ASS ANSWER #2
    > A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
    > reads, 'Low Bridge Ahead.'
    > Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
    > stuck under the bridge.
    > Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop
    > gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on
    > his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
    > The truck driver says,
    > 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.'
    >
    > #1SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
    > A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now
    > class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
    > I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,
    illness,
    > or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
    > whatsoever!'
    > A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
    > 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete
    and
    > utter sexual exhaustion?'
    > The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence
    > is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her
    > head and sweetly says, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam
    > with your other hand.'
     
  2. Wheely

    Wheely Wheely Threads

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    :lol: :lol: :lol:
     

  3. bill10418

    bill10418 Why be Normal

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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     
  4. tnts79

    tnts79 Senior Member

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    :rockon: Good ones :lol:
     
  5. hduc2005

    hduc2005 Senior Member

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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     
  6. BUNNYMAN

    BUNNYMAN I pray for you!

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    heres your sign..........:D
     
  7. compoundxx75

    compoundxx75 Member

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    Wife askes the other day. 30 degrees out and snowing,"do i need to go start her car" and my reply was, "if your not going to walk and want to drive it, I would say you do."
     
  8. Werd

    Werd Senior Member

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    HA-HA. silly mom
     
  9. Redhdcharm

    Redhdcharm Senior Member

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    :pound: :pound: Some goodies!! :biggrin1:


    ~~
     
  10. bennysupreme

    bennysupreme New Member

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    :lol: :Cry: :lol: :Cry:
     
  11. QSA

    QSA One eyed/Gutless wonder

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    :laugh: :lol: :laugh: :laugh: :lol: :laugh: :lol: