The Ant and The Grasshopper (old and new)

Discussion in 'Jokes Forum' started by bill10418, Oct 26, 2007.

  1. bill10418

    bill10418 Why be Normal

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    OLD VERSION:
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
    building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.



    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
    plays the summer away.


    Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
    The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    MODERN VERSION:




    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
    his house and laying up supplies for the winter.



    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
    plays the summer away.



    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
    demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
    while others are cold and starving.
    CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
    shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
    table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
    How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
    grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
    cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
    where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse
    then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's
    sake.




    Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King
    that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
    call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

    Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
    retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

    The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
    bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home
    is confiscated by the government.



    Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
    defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
    of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of
    single-parent welfare recipients.



    The ant loses the case.



    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
    of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just
    happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
    maintain it.



    The ant has disappeared into the snow.



    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the
    house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
    once peaceful neighborhood.



    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.
     
  2. Josh_Putman

    Josh_Putman My little huntin buddy

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    Scary, but true. :frusty:
     

  3. hoyt_hunter007

    hoyt_hunter007 Senior Member

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    Thank goodness for Affirmative Action! (sarcasm) :frusty: :doh: