The Divorce Letter

Discussion in 'Jokes Forum' started by Wheely, Apr 7, 2007.

  1. Wheely

    Wheely Wheely Threads

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    Dear Husband:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've
    been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
    show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
    me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

    Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.

    You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
    watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't
    touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
    what ever the case is, I'm gone.



    PS: If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away
    to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

    Your Ex-wife



    ....The saga continues.....



    Dear Ex-wife,

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you
    and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman
    is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
    out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice
    when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
    mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
    anything if you can't say anything nice.

    When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

    I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price
    tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that
    my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
    negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
    could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten
    million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But
    when I got home you were gone.

    Everything happens for a reason I guess! I hope you have the filling life
    you always wanted.

    My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.
    So take care.

    PS:

    I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
    Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
     
  2. bullspotter

    bullspotter Senior Member

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    Thats awsom. Love it when a plan works out!! :D
     

  3. Chris

    Chris Administrator Staff Member

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    That was funny!
     
  4. brokenarrow

    brokenarrow Evil Genius

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    That's a good one...:biggrin1:
     
  5. BUNNYMAN

    BUNNYMAN I pray for you!

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    yup, just goes to show you....women never think things thru and always jump the gun.......
     
  6. Ronhop

    Ronhop RIP

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    FIRE....READY....AIM....

    Ron