The Rules of Rural Indiana

Discussion in 'Jokes Forum' started by bullfiddle, Jan 16, 2008.

  1. bullfiddle

    bullfiddle Movin on up!!!

    11,308
    1
    0
    THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS:

    Listen up City Slickers !



    1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.



    2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.



    3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt road." I drive a pickup
    truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
    dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.



    4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to
    you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Rt. 70
    goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.



    5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn
    pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.



    6. So every person in southern Indiana waves. It's called being friendly.
    Try to understand the concept.



    7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming
    in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it
    up to your ear at the time.



    8. Yeah, we eat tater & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want sushi &
    caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.



    9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
    holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.



    10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.



    11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you
    can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.



    12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
    vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
    Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff
    you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!



    13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
    over ice.



    14. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to
    shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.



    15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers
    and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.



    16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
    spooks the fish.



    17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Community
    Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a
    love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come
    for the holidays.



    18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
    Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the
    best.



    19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't
    music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
    boxers. Refer back to #1.


    20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may
    have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades
    will have you out the next day.
     
  2. Dredly

    Dredly Site Guru

    4,358
    3
    0
    Other then the Hunting season (its the first Monday after Thanksgiving, and yes, school is closed that day) the rest all fits pretty much exactly....:rockon: ... well it used to :mad:

    oh and 80 runs East to West, 476 runs N/S, then get on 95 and get the hell outta my state!
     

  3. jcmorgan31

    jcmorgan31 Prodigal Son

    4,569
    4
    0
    All you foreigners coming to the Rhinehart 100 need to memorize these rules. I'll be having a pop quiz........
     
  4. Dredly

    Dredly Site Guru

    4,358
    3
    0
    I need help...

    Is it "Coke", "Soda", or "Pop"...

    I always get that one wrong and normally just call it "beer" :lol:
     
  5. jcmorgan31

    jcmorgan31 Prodigal Son

    4,569
    4
    0
    :

    That varies by region. I call most everything a coke....
    :noidea:
     
  6. IN Bowhunter

    IN Bowhunter In search of the big rack

    83
    0
    0
    :amen: :amen: :amen: :amen:

    God that was great!!! Well said brother!!!!
     
  7. J.C.

    J.C. New Member

    7,681
    15
    0
    Sounds like people from Indiana are bossy.........:tape: :tape: :peace:
     
  8. bullfiddle

    bullfiddle Movin on up!!!

    11,308
    1
    0
    Hush up JC...:laugh: :laugh:
     
  9. jcmorgan31

    jcmorgan31 Prodigal Son

    4,569
    4
    0
    I know one person from Indiana that is. I've been married to her for 15 years.....:tape:
     
  10. Dredly

    Dredly Site Guru

    4,358
    3
    0
    how are you going to give a pop quiz when you don't even know the answers! :lol:
     
  11. jcmorgan31

    jcmorgan31 Prodigal Son

    4,569
    4
    0
    If you want a Coke, as for a Coke. If you want a Pepsi, ask for a Pepsi. If you want a Big Red, ask for a Big Red. Be specific man........:doh:

    You shouldn't be saying soda or pop unless you are 75 years old. :wave:
     
  12. J.C.

    J.C. New Member

    7,681
    15
    0
    I agree........:peace:
     
  13. jcmorgan31

    jcmorgan31 Prodigal Son

    4,569
    4
    0
    And if you don't know what a Big Red is....... you need to find out....:doh:
     
  14. pred8er

    pred8er He who eats fuzzy animals

    1,468
    3
    0
    When I was stationed in SC, my wife went to a drive through and asked for a coke......the girl asked what flavor she wanted.:doh:
     
  15. jcmorgan31

    jcmorgan31 Prodigal Son

    4,569
    4
    0
    Was it a Rally's or Sonic? They have like 20 flavors of coke......:noidea:
     
  16. Holy Smokes

    Holy Smokes Senior Member

    6,721
    14
    0
    Hey it mnt dew coke pepis orange crush no generics here
    and tha evenin' meal is still called supper if ya ask for dinner ya git a shortened verison of supper at 12:pm
    if we got our cap on backards its cause we don't want tha wind ta blow it off as we is ridin' our hogs or have our weldin' hood on.:cool:
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2008
  17. QSA

    QSA One eyed/Gutless wonder

    5,998
    1
    0
    Ya'll for got the rule about ya'll sista and farmers daughter
     
  18. QSA

    QSA One eyed/Gutless wonder

    5,998
    1
    0
    Or just want to keep the hair out of your eyes
     
  19. Shortshaft

    Shortshaft Member

    501
    0
    0
    I miss going to Indiana! Where people have bunches of fun and put their groceries in sacks. :biggrin1: